Friday, May 22, 2009

No News Today

My loyal "Twitter" followers (Twitties? Twittites?) will be aware that I am currently wrestling with three somewhat disturbing events: first, what appear to be threats of extreme violence or, at the least, extended instruction in the locations of the more sensitive portions of my anatomy at the hands of relatives of US Ambassador to Albia Janush Pazman(1), for whom I worked briefly and for whose mysterious absence I am apparently (and wholly unfairly) being blamed. Secondly, there is the alleged appearance of a wormhole(2) in central Blizsta, which is being given by one parliamentarian as the reason for his claiming a billion pahnds under his allowance for "repairs to the space-time continuum"(3). Lastly, and perhaps most disturbingly of all, there is the letter from my employer back in Britain, the international news organisation UKBINS, with whom my most loyal readers will be aware I have had some conflict in the past(4). Suffice it to say that this letter makes considerable mention of "recession", "cost-cutting" and "down-sizing", not to mention closures of certain of its less profitable foreign bureaus.

In the circumstances, I hope my readers will forgive the lack of a more detailed update today - I have much to ponder ... preferably with a glass or thirty-seven of potato-based alcohol in hand.

(1)
some of whose dealings in the building, waste removal and allied trades are mentioned in earlier posts here, here, here and here.
(2) of the "hole in space" nature rather than that associated with oligochaeta.
(3) Let's face it, it makes as much sense as charging thousands for a "duck island" or moat-cleaning.
(4) See the posts here.

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